Friday, February 13, 2009

Stratton 08/02/98 to 02/12/09

My darling handsome Stratton...Mr. assistant chef...Strattie...Lovie Boy...the best Golden ever born...Puppy Puppy Puppy. I cannot believe you were taken from this Earth and from me at age 10 1/2. It is so unfair.

We don't know why. The surgery was successful but your body couldn't handle it. Something happened and we will never know what. You did have some issues the past few months and looked a bit different in your eyes for about two weeks. Also, you clung to me more than ever. I think you knew and were trying to tell me. Perhaps. Maybe your body did fail you, only to save you from a struggle later in life.
I totally blame myself for your death. I should have asked more questions and not been so quick to agree to the surgery. I will never know. I feel blessed that I was with you those last 8 1/2 hours. They were tough on me but much tougher for you. Now you are at peace and painfree. I cannot imagine you going through all of that trauma without me. I know you loved me. I heard you cry for me when I walked away for just a minute. That broke my heart and that was only the beginning. I am crushed.

Stratton you are my heart dog. You taught me how to love unconditionally. I adore you. I will always love you. You live in my heart. You were and will always be my life. I will always be your mommy. Please forgive me for taking you away from your family. I beg for your forgiveness. You were always such a loving, forgiving boy. I hope you can forgive the one person who adored you and worshipped you. I am so sad and lonely without you...

Sleep well my darling. You deserve it and much, much more. Life for me will never be the same. Love, Mommy